Apricot Pilgrim

from by The Waterboatman

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about

inspired by travel abroad,fever dreams, anxiety about past relationships, being faced with financial ruin and one too many books by Camus.

lyrics

she asked me to change my relationship status
i told her i would but it made me anxious
i know, i know.
like if i actually changed my relationship status
then this would be real and then real things could shatter,
i know. i'm just afraid that this will end.

so i filtered the rest of my energy reserve
to the little things that reduced my nerves
and i helped assemble a vegetable patch
the other volunteers and i shared a good laugh
i'd never used a power tool before.
i'd never felt useful before
and after, i laid under the baking sky and i cried into my copy of the outsider (by camus)

we drove out to a hidden waterfall
it felt huge but also so small, you know?
i jumped from the ledge and the water was freezing
and i was so aware of my own heart beating, you know?
but i knew that this would end.

but i felt a sense of permenance that
nothing would ever be permenant
from the fleeting use of the vegetation
to the ancient art of irrigation.
i'd never jumped from a ledge before
i'd never felt meaningless before
but when i lay under that waterfall i'd never laughed harder.

so what? if im anxious?
so what? if we shatter?
so what? if the world fucks up?
so what? i don't matter?
well hey, i got that waterfall
and hey, i got the outsider
and hey, i've got that jump
and hey (i've got her)

so what? if i'm broke?
so what? if people know?
so what? if i fucked it all up?
so what? if i'm alone?

well hey, i've got that waterfall
and hey, i've got the outsider
and hey, i've got that jump
and hey, (i've got her)

so what? if my dad doesn't call?
so what? if we all die?
so what? if we all die?
so what? if we all die

Well hey, (i've got her)
and hey, (i've got her)
and hey, (i've got her)
and hey, (i've got her)

credits

from Most Life, track released December 1, 2015
written and produced by B. Laing, with additional guitars by Thom Pankhurst and additional vocals by Lisa Eaton.

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The Waterboatman Bristol, UK

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